First, Do No Harm

January 5th, I wrote my newsletter while watching the Georgia Election returns on TV.

The next day, Wednesday, January 6th, was a day of reckoning in this country. Hate and racism were enthusiastically on display and my heart was broken.

By January 9th, 24,000 COVID deaths had been recorded in 2021.

I began to question if this newsletter was even appropriate. Should I rearrange my words in response to the sickness and mayhem in our country? And then a great friend sent me this quote:

"I know the world is bruised and bleeding, and though it is important not to ignore its pain, it is also critical to refuse to succumb to its malevolence. Like failure, chaos contains information that can lead to knowledge - even wisdom. Like art."

~ Toni Morrison ~

So, without further delay and with an open heart, here is my message:

Here we are once again at the threshold of resolution...of behavior change...of never again...of if I give this up I will get that. But, after enduring the chaos, the fear, the isolation, the lust for power, and the canonization of dishonesty in 2020, I am just hoping for some peace, some grace, some compassion, some even breaths, and meeting a friend for lunch, IN a restaurant! How about seeing a smile?

I just saw the website photo of the Physical Therapist I worked with last year. She looks completely different without her mask! Had I not seen her photo, six months from now (fingers crossed), if we passed each other in the grocery store without our masks, I don't think I would have recognized her!

So, imagine this job of mine...to write a newsletter that is pithy (cool word, huh?) and informative and heartfelt. I sit here every few months, fingertips hovering over the keys, jittery and excited for whatever my brain has in mind (pun intended!) and I wait patiently for a title, a tidbit, a spark of inspiration to allow the flow of words to push through the soft palate of my soul. But, this time, all I noticed was the gurgle in my stomach, the lack of birdseed in the feeder, the whine of a light bulb that needed to be changed.

And then, as if an angel poked me in the forehead to let some light in, I began to have visions of my 20 years teaching at the Genoveva Chavez Community Center in Santa Fe, NM. The sounds, the smell of chlorine, my colleagues, my students...all flooded into my memory banks in Kodachrome! And, as a smile grew on my face, I remembered a photo I took on one of the last days I taught at the GCCC early last year.

February 14, 2020 was like any other of my Fridays in Santa Fe, NM. I got up early. I welcomed a client for a private yoga therapy session at my home studio and then got in my car and drove off to the GCCC to teach my 11am Kripalu Yoga Class. I LOVED this class and anticipated it with fervor each week! Without fail, there was always a mat and props set up for me (thank you Rose and company!) so I always focused on setting up my music, greeting and hugging students (remember hugging?) and talking with those who were new. This particular day was no different...except that when I began to walk toward the front of the studio, I was blinded by the bright pink bouquet tenderly placed on my mat for the world to see. "Happy Valentines Day" it screamed, and of course I immediately teared up! No one ever admitted to putting the flowers there but I know who did and I am forever grateful! I rarely took photos in this studio as mirrors adorn 3 of 4 walls so everyone appears in triplicate! But, on this day, thankfully, I did. Two weeks later I was on a plane to Massachusetts for a Yoga Therapy training, and by the time I returned to Santa Fe, we were in lock down and I have not returned to the GCCC since.

This photo is majestically placed at the beginning of this newsletter as a reminder of this beautiful moment and of all the approximately 2700 classes I have taught at the GCCC over the years. Those days were filled with love, community, gratitude, great music, and a whole lot of laughter. The students you see in the photo have been doggedly joining me on Zoom since April 1, 2020. We gather, we chat, we move, we breathe, we groan, we rest, and then we do it all over again 4 to 5 times a week from my studio to their home. Some might say that "it is not the same." but I think we have rewritten the rules and are joyously socializing and physically distancing while taking care of our bodies and souls. We have even made some new friends, as many have joined us from far away. People we may have never met had we not been stuck at home! Irony in full display!

As the vaccine becomes available and new rules for community gathering are established, we are all wondering how our futures will unfold. I admit that I frequently take virtual tours of faraway places and imagine eating roasted red snapper on the beach in Troncones, Mexico! In the meantime, I am strangely content with teaching my classes on Zoom, working privately online with yoga therapy clients, and taking a multitude of classes and webinars to continue my exploration of this life and this body and this moment. Will I go back to teaching at the GCCC? And if I do, will you attend? Let's not answer these questions now. Rather, let's dig a little deeper during this universal pause and and reemerge healthier in mind and body, and ready, to overturn hate and ignorance with profound love and compassion.

I hope 2021 is magical for all of you. Let's start dreaming again.